


Ichiban no Takaramono

by YayaSamuko



Category: Angel Beats!
Genre: Drama, F/F, Family, Femslash, Has nothing to do with the song of the same title, Hurt/Comfort, Ill characters, OC-centered, Shoujo-ai
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-06-01
Packaged: 2018-11-05 13:10:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,097
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11014098
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/YayaSamuko/pseuds/YayaSamuko
Summary: She was just average. She had no special skill. She was just a normal teenager. Her destiny however changed one day after accidentally stomping in someone at the mall. [Shoujo-ai / Yuri / Yui x female OC]





	1. Fateful encounter

**Author's Note:**

> This has nothing to do with the song of the same title!

“Sorry miss!” The man at the counter handed over a paper.

I let go of a sigh while taking the mark that I failed another exam. Despite having a mix feeling of sadness and anger, I tried my best to smile, even if it was only half-heartedly. “Thank you, sir!” After bowing at the other members of the staff, I excused myself and walked out of the small building.

I couldn’t help another sigh to escape my lips as I watched the dark sky. It was rather cold and my body knew it more than well as it started to shake lightly. I took my small handbag and took the scarf and a pair of gloves from it before putting them on.

It was still cold though. These weren’t enough as the millions of snow falling from the sky was a mark of the low temperature. The morning news said that that day would be snowy and the average temperature would be around minus 10 degree Celsius.

After spending a couple of minute standing in front of the small call center office – where I did an exam to get a part-time job, but failed, - I finally decided to step forward and walked my way home. It was rather late; 18:30 according to my wristlock. The district I decided to go was rather a busy one, but calmer than the average towns. It was still busy in my opinion.

As I was about to cross the road to go to the other side, the wind suddenly blown, putting my shoulder-length curly brown hair in a mess. _‘Jeez!’_ I cursed my bad luck as I missed my chance to cross. The light has turned into red and I had to wait 40 seconds before it would turn green again so I could resume my walking.

Well… To be honest, there was nothing to rush home by the way. It wasn’t as if I had someone who would wait for me…

Thinking about that brought a single tear in my left eye, but quickly whipped it away as I remembered that I was still in public. _‘I shall not show my weakness to the others…’_ Father always told me to be strong no matter what happened. He said that this world was cruel and one has to fight hard to survive. He concluded saying to never show my tears in front of the others.

The light turned green once again and I decided to walk forward. It has turned darker than earlier and my body was telling me that it has turned colder. I had to hurry and get home. At least, I found a reason to walk faster.

As I passed in front of a mall, I suddenly remembered something. _‘The fridge is empty… I have to buy some instant ramen.’_

After taking a small glance at my remaining allowance, I put it back on my pocket and processed into the store. It was rather crowded at that time, and that made me somehow anxious.

As long as I could remember, I was always a social awkward. I was the shy and ill girl most of the time, from back to middle school until now that I am an University student. I couldn’t stand to be around lot of people I didn’t know.

I didn’t waste any more minute and decided to go to the food section. After picking few packs of instant ramen, few eggs and a bottle of milk, I decided that I had enough.

Since there was lot of people around, I accidentally stomped into someone. I took one step back and saw a pinkish brown-haired woman who has turned toward me. She didn’t seem angry at first look, but I didn’t want to try and innerve her.

“A-ano…” I bowed my head. “I’m sorry!”

“It’s alright!” By the tone of her voice, she was not mad. I was glad and lifted my head to see a familiar smile on her face.

Her lips were curled from few millimeter; her eyes slightly narrower than it should be normally; bright pair of orbs dulled by the different shades of drama in life. I knew it more than well… It was a sad half-hearted smile.

I was used to seeing that kind of smile on Mother, Father or my sisters’ face every time a hard problem would arise – like when Father was fired from his job, when Mother was caught in a car accident and got hospitalized, when my older sister lost her baby, or when I first failed my high school entrance exam. It pained me to see such facial expression. My heart ached to the only thought of seeing such sad expression on someone.

“You don’t have to worry about it!” The woman’s smile persisted on her face.

I knew that she was suffering. By the look of her eyes were still magnificently glowing of hope while her lips were dry from angst, and my experiences in the domain, I bed she has lost someone really close to her, or was about o.

As the woman wearing a big brown coat over what looked like sky blue one-piece dress was about to turn at the other side, I quickly walked beside her. “I-if it’s okay with you… m-may I bring your basket?”

It was unlike me to volunteer and help someone, but seeing the somehow difficulties she had lifting the filled-with-things basket forced a strong feeling inside of me. The fact of knowing that she was in a difficult phase in life added more foil to that feeling. I couldn’t just stand her and watch her while I could help her.

“Thank you!” She smiled back at me as I took one of the heavy basked from her.

 _‘It’s heavy…’_ I thought as I took the charged basket. According to my intuition, I bet that it weighted more than 15 kilograms. _‘And yet she brought two of these earlier…’_

As we arrived at the paying counter, I allowed the woman to go before me. She gladly accepted and paid. She however didn’t get out yet after putting all the things she bought inside many plastic bags. She turned to me. “Thank you for your help!”

“You’re welcome!”

She took all the bags, but I could see that she had difficulties bringing them all since there were at least 8 filled bags. The feeling in my chest from earlier ragged again and I quickly walked toward her, grabbing half of the bags, ignoring my own stuffs.

The woman gave me a confused look, but I just gathered all my strength to smile at her as honestly as I could. “I will walk you home!”

“But…” She was about to counter, but I was already walking toward the exit. “What about your things?”

“Do not worry, Madam!” We walked out of the mall. It was mainly me leading the way out and her following me reluctantly. “I could always buy these any other time. There is no need for me to buy them for now. I guess that helping you is prior.” I lied.

She was still giving me a sad look, but I did my best to smile at her. “But… It is late and I live rather far. I would feel bad if you get home late.”

“So, where do you live?” I asked casually, as if it was the most normal question in the world. I got a plan in head and hopefully, it would works.

“Pardon?”

“I asked where you live. Maybe it’s on my way, so I could help you carry these until we get into an intersection or something like that.”

She was still reluctant by the way her eyes were looking at me, but she somehow trusted me, or at least gave me the benefit of doubt. “We live just near the football field at the east. It’s about quarter a kilometer from here.”

“That’s great!” It was the second step of my plan. “I live nearby as well! Since we share the same way back, how about I help you carry these?”

She was still reluctant. “…”

“Do not worry, Madam! I am not a bad person! I am not going to do anything to you. I just want to be helpful since it’s my way home as well.” Part of what I said was a lie, like the fact of leaving nearby. The truth was that my apartment was located at the opposite said of the town. The fat of wanting to be helpful thought was true. I couldn’t just let her walk away with that many weight to carry.

“No! I didn’t mean that you are a bad person…” She bowed her head in apology. “I was just worried that your parents might get mad if you get home late. Plus, I don’t want to bother you.”

“There’s nothing to worry about! I am still earlier than expected. I was only supposed to get home by 20:00, so why not? And like I said, it’s on my way home.”

“Oh… Thank you!” She bowed her head once again, but this time for emphasizing her thanking.

After that, we walked toward the east. We didn’t speak that much, we just walked peacefully until we arrived in front of a plain house.

The woman took her key and unlocked the door. She pushed the door open and moved to the side before eying me. “Come in!” she said in her gentle tone.

I just muttered a small “Sorry for the intrusion” and walked in. After taking my pair of plain white shoes, I stepped further into the hallway, the woman following from behind after closing the door. We soon arrived at a small kitchen and placed the bags at the counter.

“Thank you once again for your help!” She then turned around for a couple of seconds. “If you are would like, how about having a little snack? I have to properly thank you.”

“You are too kind, Madam, but I…” The growling of my stomach stopped me from finishing that statement. My face turned red from embarrassment as I realized how shameful my action was. Sure, it wasn’t directly my fault, but I had to admit that I indeed made a mistake. _‘I forgot that I skipped lunch… Oh, man… I am so embarrassed…’_

The woman looked slightly surprised at the sound, but suddenly caught up with the facts. She just smiled. “I take it as a yes!” She started taking the ingredients out of few bags put them inside a container. “Is there anything you are allergic to?”

Deciding to admit defeat and to accept her offer, I just let go of a sigh. “I am allergic to seafood, banana, animal fur and dust.”

I bed that I heard her giggle. I couldn’t help but to giggle back. I was happy to see that I could at least make her laugh. “All right! You can relax at the living room while I will take care of these.”

After nodding my head, I walked toward the direction that she pointed and entered another room with a couch facing the TV, few shelves near the wall, a table, few desks containing picture frames, and a young girl sitting on a wheeling chair.

I stuttered as I saw her. I wasn’t expecting to meet someone there, but quickly regained my composure. It looked like the pink-haired girl was still too engrossed in watching the TV and hasn’t seen me enter.

After taking a deep breath, I walked in and she turned her eyes in my direction. That was when I realized how cute she was.

The girl was about in her 14s or 15s according to her look. She had rather long silky pink hair and was wearing a cute pink pajama. By the look of her eyes, I concluded that she was gravely ill. That was when I realized where the woman’s sadness came from. _‘She must be her daughter…’_

The pink-haired girl kind of reminded me of the heroine of a visual novel I used to play back in my third year in high school. After another look at her, I came to the conclusion that maybe she got into an accident.

Some might wonder why I was this perspective… The answer is simple. It was all due to a painful childhood. Since I was weaker than the others, I spent most of my time watching the other while I just sat at the side, in the shadow. I’ve come to love books later on and my favorite was a book that talked about psychology. I was a picky person thought and only read metaphysical, moral-orientation, philosophy and religion analysis books. Unlike the others, I hated romance and drama novels. I had enough angst, drama and tragedy in my life and didn’t want to add more problems into it.

“H-hello!” I greeted shyly and bowed at her. I didn’t know how I should act around her. I never talked to teenager before. The only few people I only talked with were only the members of my families and few person I had business with. I wasn’t the kind of person who would initiate a talk to befriend someone.

“Hello!” She replied and smiled. That smile was pure and innocent, to the point of making my heart beat faster. It was the first time that I felt such sensation. I felt warmth within my cold and wounded heart.

“A-ano… My name is Kohinata Yume! It’s a pleasure to meet you!” I stuttered. I was never get used to introducing myself. My name wasn’t fitting me for the least… Firstly because I was a pacifist and always unsure girl... My name was written in the same kanji as “Dream of the sun’s child”. I had mostly no objective in life and I was always hiding in the shadow. That name sure didn’t fit me.

The young girl however was still smiling at me. “Nice to meet you, Yume-chan! My name is Yui! Let’s be friend!”

I felt a jolt of electricity resonating within me, followed by many waves of happiness. That was the first time that I felt like this. _‘It’s the first time someone added the suffix ‘chan’ in my name…’_

I returned the smile and walked beside her and sat on a pliable chair. “S-so, what are you watching, Yui-chan?” I decided to play alongside.

“Wrestling!” She replied and turned her attention back at the screen. “The battle today is very promising…” She continued to explain, but for some odd reason, none of what she said was taken by my mind.

I just smiled as she happily commented at the screen while occasionally took a glance at me. That day, I knew that something changed within me… I knew that something good was going to happen… I knew that something tragic will follow… I knew that…

I realized it! I knew that I was always into girls since in middle school. I would have peeked at some of the girls while changing or would try to get closer to them, but in vain. I was never interested in boys. I didn’t know why, but it’s just like it.

I’ve come to the term many times… but I never had the courage to admit it… but now, I couldn’t deny it more. The way my heart beat weirdly, my breathings heavy and this feeling of wanting to stay closer to the girl was forcing me to admit it…

…I found a liking in her…

…It was love at first sigh…

I was curious for the first time in years… I was curious to find more about her. I was sure that she would be able to fill the emptiness within me. She was the first person who smiled honestly at me… She was the first person to call me in such friendly way… She was the first person to openly talk to me about her passion.

I turned my attention at the screen after admitting these. Even though I didn’t know anything about wrestling, I somehow got interested in it. _‘What is this feeling? It makes me so happy… I can’t get enough of this… I want it to least as long as possible…’_

A couple of minute later, Yui’s mother entered the room, a plate filled with sweets in hand. “Who want some cookies?”

“Yeah! Mama’s cookies are the best!” The pink-haired girl cheered.

The woman looked at me with expectation. “Here! Take some as well!”

“Yes!” For the first time in my life, I smile honestly. It wasn’t forced at all… It just came naturally. I felt so comforted at that time that I let my emotions taking over me. “Thank you, Mama!”


	2. Restless night

Here I was once again, watching the dark ceiling of my room, my back against the wall near the bed. It wasn’t the first time that I would just sulk like that in the dark. I was used to being alone, reflecting about my decisions in life… about my wishes… my regrets.

I was sitting on my apartment’s bed. It was a small studio apartment on an average building, at the fifth floor. I started living alone right after graduating from high school two years earlier. My reason was because I wanted to study at a University nearby, but it was all a lie. I just wanted to have some freedom, to flee from my unbearable past.

It was dark and snowing outside as I saw from the small glass window. Fortunately, the inside of the room had an air conditioner, so I was fine… but it wasn’t as if I needed it in permanence. I didn’t really like hot temperatures; I am more of the cold one and wouldn’t mind staying at a place with only 8 to 12 Degree Celsius.

I glanced another time at the clock and saw that it was past midnight, but I couldn’t manage to get any sleep. Well, it wasn’t anything new to me. I was insomniac since my 13s. It all started because of few facts. One, my parents always fought and yelled at each others and that left a trauma in my mind. Two, I had a fragile conscience and seeing lot of Horror movies provoked my mind do make me have nightmares every night. Three, I was a scare baby… No… I am and I always will be… I was scared of dead corpses, reptiles, dogs and anything related to mythological creatures.

Meanwhile, I didn’t mind darkness or loneliness. I was used of these for a while now. My parents would have always got home late while there are blackouts. My first sister got married while I was only 8, so I didn’t really get the chance to know much about her. As my second sister, we were really close during our childhood, but she started being very distant since she got her first boyfriend. She would always say something like _“I have to so something today, Yume! Let’s do it another time!”_ but the ‘another time’ never happened.

My chain of thought was cut as I was brought back into reality by faraway dog barks. I somehow felt my body shacking as I curled on myself. I didn’t like that kind of sound. I just stood there and wrapped the blanket around me, waiting for the annoying sounds to end. I never knew why people loved these creatures so much. As long as I could remember, I’ve always hated dogs. It disgusted me to see people being close to animals and taking care of them as if they were their ‘friends’ or ‘family’. I really fond it disgusting…

Well, it wasn’t as if I appreciated humans. I was a social awkward and didn’t really like talking too long with anyone… except maybe that girl I met earlier of that day. The thought of the pink-haired girl going under the name of Yui and her mother somehow brought a feeling of happiness in my chest. Without realizing, it, my lips curved into a smile and the feeling of fear and disgust from earlier dissipated like it never happened.

I grabbed the hem of the cover and slightly tossed it aside to have a better view of the clock. One hour has passed since the last time I’ve watched the item. I couldn’t help a sigh from escaping my lips because of three facts. One, time sure flies like wind; two, I had morning classes the next day; and three; I couldn’t get what happened earlier out of my mind.

Well, it wasn’t as if I was anything near sleepy. That was something I appreciated in myself; Only 4 hours of sleep were enough for me to keep up. In addition, I skipped breakfast most of the time, but still managed to get through the day without collapsing. In fact, I might have a slender body with a flat figure, but my chubby cheeks were a proof that I was still fine.

I slid a finger near my strand of brown hair and started to tress it into French braids because I felt like it. These kind of things always happened. There were time while bored; I started playing with my hair of fidgeted with my fingers without any special reason. Maybe it was due to few events from my past. Our family used to be slightly below the average and couldn’t afford that many things to us, so we had to do with what we had. I rarely got new books and returned into boredom each time I finished one. As to fight that, I’ve learned how to make braids and such to sometime relieve my boredom.

After letting go of another sigh, I fell down on the bed and closed my eyes as to think of a way to calm my mind, in vain as the events from earlier played in my mind.

_“Thank you, Mama!” It took me few seconds to realize that small mistake and I was about to correct it, but the woman interrupted my by giving a smile that said that she didn’t mind. My face turned red as I picked a piece of cookie while the brunette started feeding Yui._

_As I chewed the thing, I felt a melting sensation in my chest. It was a sensation I haven’t felt for years and without realizing that my eyes has watered. I only realized it as the woman displayed a concerned look on her face. “Are you all right?” I watched her in surprise as I haven’t realized it yet. “I mean, you are crying.”_

_I brought a hand on my face and felt something wet… Tears… These were my tears. That was a while since I’ve last seen these liquids on my face. I’ve always hardened myself and hid my feelings deep inside, be it anger, sadness or happiness. I knew that these tears were from happiness, but I never expected that witnessing these people’s kindness would make my heart melt to this point. “Y-you don’t have to worry about these!” I force a smile while quickly wiping the tears away, but in vain as more came out of my eyes._

_I saw the woman take a handkerchief from her pocket and started whipping my face for me as if I was her daughter. I felt really happy, feeling the fabric against my cold pale skin. That was a while since anyone has ever cared about me, less taking care of me._

_“There!” I somehow felt disappointment as Yui’s mother backed away after my face was clean, but quickly snapped these thoughts away._

_“T-thank you, Madam!”_

_I could hear the pink-haired girl giggle at that statement. As I turned into her direction, I saw something angelic. She was smiling so brightly, it was dazzling. The sound she made was enough to warm my cold heart. A smile appeared on my face._

_“You’re pretty weird, Yume-chan!” Yui laughed, but I didn’t feel any bad emotion at all. For some odd reasons, I liked it when she talked to me like that. “I think you should use ‘Mama’! I guess it will fit more!”_

_The older woman let go of some giggles as well. “Sure! I have to admit that it somehow made me uncomfortable each time you called me ‘Madam’.”_

_I looked down and felt as if an icicle has pierced my heart. “S-so, you don’t like it…?”_

_“No! Not really!” I lifted my head to see another smile on the woman’s face. “I wouldn’t mind it, but like Yui said, I think it would fit better if you called me Mama.” She grabbed another cookie and fed it to her daughter. “For some odd reasons, I feel like we will get along well. Don’t you think, Yume-chan?”_

_Hearing my name being called in such kind, caring and loveable way gave birth to a higher level of happiness inside of me. I could feel my lips curling up while my vision started to blur, signaling that I was about to cry back anytime soon… But for some odd reason, I didn’t feel the need to hide my emotions anymore. “Yes, Mama!”_

_After talking for another hour, finishing the sweets, and took care of the dishes, I finally realized how late it was and bowed at them. I somehow felt a little sad to go, but that couldn’t have been helped._

_“You can come by anytime you wish, Yume-chan!” That sentence melted my cold heart once again to see a pair of smile directed at me._

_“Yes! Thank you for everything!”_

I queered the unique pillow from my bed in near my chest and stared at the clock once again. I couldn’t help another sigh as I realized another hour has passed while I was busy thinking about these events.

After somehow feeling my throat got dry, my feet moved on their own and led me toward the kitchen counter. Well, it wasn’t as if I had to walk that far since the apartment was small enough so that the bed was at a counter, a desk placed near it while at the other side were a small table and few items like rice cockers and assets. I turned the sink on and took a glass that was soon filled and ended up in my throat. I repeated the action three times before going back to bed.

To be honest, water was my favorite thing to drink. Unlike others, I hated fruit juice, carbonated juice, alcoholic juice, tea, coffee and milk. I could drink 3 liters of potable water on a normal summer day and 2 in winter. Also, I liked them cold. I didn’t like hot water as well. I just loved the cold feeling of refreshing water pouring down my throat toward my inner organs.

I was now back on the bed, but realized soon that I was once again bored. I stood up and went to sit on a chair in front of the desk. Maybe studying something might help… So, I took a random book from the bag near the lamp and opened it. I didn’t even bother powering any light since it wasn’t necessary. In fact, I hated artificial light. I’d rather have read books in the dark than to light a candle or a lamp. Some might think I was abnormal, but I didn’t mind it… I never cared about anyone’s opinion… except maybe for these two…

I could feel like my blood has gathered at my face by that thought. Sure, I appreciated the two brunettes, but I couldn’t afford to let myself be distracted too much. After snapping these thoughts away, I picked the book that just happened to be about Mathematics. I let go of a sigh as I turned to the bookmark and started reading about de Moivre, Wallice, Pythagore, Thalès, Euler and Pascal’s theorems. Sometimes I wondered why these people used their name for something they found. That was something that I really hated; narcissi and self-centered people who would brag about something they found. I remembered back in middle school while learning history. People would give their names to something they found, in hope that the world will eternally remember them; like Amerigo Vespuchi who discovered the American continent, Watt who discovered the formula of power, Volt and Ampere who found about electricity, or even Joule who discovered the formula on how to convert electricity into heath. I hated these kinds of people.

As some might have seen and pointed out since I was in high school, I wasn’t possessive toward anything. I rarely used the term ‘my’ as something except if it was currently a part of my body. Instead of using ‘my books’, I always used ‘the books’. The only thing I was possessive was my own mind, soul and body. I didn’t want anyone to get them away from me. To be honest, I’ve always lost lot of things since my childhood; toys, books, cashes, notebooks, plushiest and clothes… but I didn’t want anyone to steal the only thing that I had since then and still had right at that moment. I wanted to at least keep my sanity even though I had nothing else.

As I turned down toward the pages once again, I saw how clear the explanations were. Even if it was dark, I always managed to read them normally. I didn’t need any kind of light. I guess it was my sixth sense that allowed me to do so.

 _“Let’s play some other time again!”_ Suddenly, Yui’s words echoed in my head. I remembered that beautiful angelic smile she had while I was about to leave. I remembered how we played truth or dare while her mother was busy taking care of the dishes.

I did really enjoy our short time together. A blush appeared on my pale cheek as I thought about the truths and dare we make each other do. The pen fell on the pages and I let my head fall on the desk, an idiotic smile glued on my face as I remembered every second we talked to each other.

_“I will go first!” The pinkette started. “Truth or dare?”_

_“T-truth, I guess…” I replied, unsure while fidgeting with the hem of my shirt’s sleeve._

_“Then tell me, how old are you and what do you do in life, Yume-chan?”_

_“I am 23 and a second year at University. I decided to study Industrial techniques and Computer science.”_

_“Wow! Really!” I could see stars in the young girl’s eyes. “So, you are really good in Mathematics and such?”_

_“W-well…” I could feel my face reddened at the intense yet admiration stare she was giving me, and I tried to avoid direct eye contact. “I… guess I am average in Mathematics, Electricity and Nuclear science. I am a little above average in Industrial Schema Techniques Theorems and English… But I am really bad at Japanese, Chemistry, Mechanics and Industrial Schema Application.”_

_I could see the look of confusion she was giving me. I kind of understood since by her look, she might as well have still been in middle school or high school… before her accident of course. Her mother told me earlier how she got into a car accident and lost any ability to move because of her damaged backbone._

_“Wow!”_

_“A-anyway,” I finally lifted my head and decided to turn the conversation elsewhere, “I… I guess it’s my turn now… T-truth or dare?”_

_“Dare all the way!”_

_I was taken aback by that reply. I expected her to take truth because of her condition, but one thing was for sure, this girl was something. “T-then, w-wink at me!” I tried my best to not blush even more, but in vain._

_She did as she was told and I could feel my heart melting so much that I had the felling like the cold due to loneliness that invaded it were all gone. I felt like I saw her wearing a beautiful white dress, white feathers wings on her back and an areola floating above her head… I was definitely too gay for these kinds of thing._

_“Good!” I was brought back into reality as the younger girl spoke in her usual pitchy yet gentle voice. “Now, truth or dare, Yume-chan?”_

_It was only the second round and I was already such a mess. I didn’t know if I could still stay alive until the end, but quickly snapped that fear away while seeing her comforting smile. At the point I was right then, better have acted it and enjoy the present to the fullest._

I lifted my head to see the first ray of light as the sun started to rise at the horizon thought the glass window. In the final, I didn’t manage to get any sleep nor study done. Normally, I should have felt regretful or disappointed, but for some odd reasons, I was… how do I say it… happy. Maybe happy because I’ve got the chance to meet wonderful people… Maybe I was happy to know that I might still have another chance to meet them once again.

I placed my hand on my chest and felt my heartbeat fastening as I though of what we could do next while meeting again. _“Yui…”_ As I mumbled her name, my face was warmer once again. There was always that good feeling deep inside of my chest each time I thought about that little girl.

I was brought back into reality after hearing a sound that came from the clock. It was an alarm I set the night before to help me wake up in time, but it seemed like it wasn’t really needed.

I stood up from the chair and walked at the counter to grab a glass of fresh water and a loaf of bread. I somehow still managed to stop by a 24/7 market the night before while on my way home and could afford few things.

While chewing the thing though, I had another thought. _“W-what am I thinking about? I know it is impossible! These forbidden desires should just be kept deep inside. I can’t afford to do such selfish thing.”_ Sure enough, I wanted to be closer to the pinkette, but because of public morals and such – because of our genders and age difference – I might as well have given up.

Well, it wasn’t as if it was the first time that I encountered such problem. As long as I could remember, I was always into girls, but hid that personality deep inside. There were times I felt something – that might actually be crushes – toward some former classmates, but these always ended up badly. For most of them, I decided to remain silent and watched them being taken away by others as I watched my missed chance, regrets feeling my soul. For some other in which I had the courage to confess, they laughed at my face, pointing accusing finger at me and spreading rumor about my abnormal sexuality. Sure enough, I never managed to get any friend after that… And on top of that, my family wasn’t that happy while hearing about their daughter being into girls. While Father and my second Sister scowled me for hours, my first Sister and Mother confiscated most of my belongings.

 _“She’s not normal!” “Weirdo!” “Lesbians should go to hell!” “Do not dare get near us!”_ I was used to these kinds of insults in high school.

I was my most fatal error. It all happened after reading my first romance book that I gained enough confidence to confess to an upperclassman. I was a first year at that time and the girl I had a crush one was one year ahead. I always thought that she was the kind type, but apparently, I was wrong. As if insulting me while giving a heartbreaking reply was enough, she spread flyers and such to totally break my family’s reputation the next day. On top of that, she made more fun of me by starting to go out with the disciplinary comity vice president as to shower me with a rain of shame bullet once again.

I let go of another sigh after swallowing the bread and walked near the desk to grab the bag. I made sure that everything was in order and headed toward the exit. _“I wonder how thing will turn out… Will I be pushed aback once again… or perhaps… just perhaps… will I find what real happiness is…”_

**Author's Note:**

> This was imported from my FFN (Fanfiction dot net) account (YayaSamuko / ID: 7813646). Please visit http://www.fanfiction.net/u/7813646 for more stories.


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